My Funny Valentine

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I find it difficult to stick to conventional poetic rhythm and rhyming scheme,

And that is why I’m single on Valentines day.

As I am sure you have all been made aware it is Valentines day, if you are one of those smug people in a relationship at this fascist time year stop reading now. It’s not that I have a huge problem with the concept of valentines day, it’s quite a nice idea really. I just don’t like the smugness. I must confess, this post was spurred into motion by my visit to Krispy Kreme today. I innocently wandered into my local Krispy Kreme branch (normally a place of such joy/guilt), to queue with the many loved-up couples picking out various heart-shaped doughnuts for share boxes. It soon came to be my turn to order, I kindly asked the man serving me for a lemon meringue doughnut to which he replies… ‘just the one?’ I say ‘…yes’ and he laughs. I resent that question as it has two possible connotations:

1) That I must be the only one in the world eating doughnuts alone this valentines day thus being the only single women left on the planet.

or

2) That because I am single at this happy time of year that I must want to eat my feelings.

No Mr Krispy Kreme, I just want my doughnut, is that too much to ask? For your information I will be at home eating this doughnut and drinking a lovely Sauvignon Blanc out of an industrial sized wine glass, and I will have a great time. I suppose some of you must think that this post sounds like sour grapes… Well my friend, grapes make wine so I have no problem with that.

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